|Vol 4 No 31||November 28, 1999|
"He who finds a wife finds what is
good and receives favor from the
(Prov 18:22). Obviously , this verse
has its limitations. A man does not
always find a good thing when he finds
a wife. Job did not, for his wife
suggested that he renounce God and
die (Job 2:9). Some wives are a
blessing, while others are not. This
contrast is well given by the wise
Solomon: "A worthy woman is the
crown of her husband; But she that
makes ashamed is as rottenness in his
bones." So, the man who finds "a
good thing" is the man who finds a
The blessings of God are bountifully bestowed upon all of us. If we are tempted or prone to be cynical, we should pause and count the multitude of blessings which we receive from God every day. How thankful the man should be who marries a good woman! He should praise God and thank Him.
The right kind of woman is the worthy woman in Proverbs 31. In summary, this woman is priceless, far above rubies. She is devoted to her husband and works in behalf of his good. She is industrious; she is strong and dignified; she has wisdom and is kind; she has the interest of her family in her heart, and she is praised by her husband and children. Blessed is the man who obtains this kind of woman for a wife.
It is a tragedy when a man marries the wrong woman, one who has deceived him by her sex appeal, cunning words of flattery, or who lacks strength of character or the traits of disposition to make a desirable wife. What a shock and disappointment it must be when he learns that he married the wrong women. He did not find a good thing. The success or failure of a man greatly depends upon the kind of woman he marries. Some of us know of preachers with great ability and potential, but who are handicapped because their wives lack the spiritual qualities and disposition to supplement their work. In such cases, they are a hindrance instead of a help.
When marriage was instituted in the beautiful bowers of Eden, Jehovah God said, "it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a help meet for him" (Gen 2:18). Celibacy is not the normal state of man. It is God's purpose that a man live upon this earth in fellowship with a wife. Man needs her. The word "meet" is more frequently used in a concrete sense to designate the assistant (Theological wordbook of the O.T., Vol.2 .p. 661). The woman is not to dominate the man (Eph 5:22-23), but she is to be his companion, his assistant. She is his counterpart, his helper. The man who enters into matrimony affirms his vows. He promises to love and honor his lawfully wedded wife, to keep her in sickness and in health, and to forsake all others for as long as they both shall live. The man who breaks this vow dishonors all that is sacred and holy. The husband and wife are to be true to each other until they are separated by death.
There is more to finding a good wife
than looking for one with mere
beauty and physical attraction. "As
a ring of gold in a swine's snout, so
is a fair woman that is without
discretion" (Prov 11:22). A woman's
true adornment is "chaste behavior:
and "a meek and quiet spirit" (1 Peter
3:3-4). She is to adorn herself "in
modest apparel, with shamefastness
and sobriety" (1 Tim 2:9).
Remember: "Grace is deceitful, and
beauty is vain; But a woman that fears
Jehovah, she shall be praised" (Prov
31:30). Men, when you seek a wife,
find one who honors God and she will
honor you. Seek the godly woman, for she will be a devoted, loyal and loving wife to you and will be an exemplary mother of your
children. She will bring you happiness. The married man should heed this admonition of Solomon: "Let thy fountain be blessed;
and rejoice in the wife of your youth" (Prov 5:18). My fellowman, if you have a good wife, be thankful for those happy days of
coutship, for the wonderful years you have had together in marriage, for the times you have laughed together, for the times when
you wept together during adversity, for the wife who stood by you when you were discouraged, and if you have children, be proud
and hold your head high. Be thankful that she is their mother.